Wanting to mother number 2

It's definitely friggen spring. I can't help but be jealous of every pregnant woman out there... Here's the breakdown... my sister, a close friend from when I was pregnant with Bella, like 5 women from the local mom's group I'm in, and about 8 women from the chat room I frequent. Seriously... they're EVERYWHERE! All the baby things they're getting... all the preggo clothes they're wearing... all the morning sickness they have... all the doctor's appointments they go to... all the kicks they feel... all the u/s's they get... all the planning and preparation... everything... I just want it to be ME already! It's so hard to even walk in a store and see a pregnant woman without getting depressed. Makes me want to be a hermit! I never thought it would take this long for me to get pg. If I had known, we might've tried a bit sooner. I kind of wish I didn't know so much about my body. Maybe that would help... not knowing when I'd O, or what fertile CM looks like, or what a BBT chart is, or when I was due for AF, or what cervical position means, or how many days it takes for implantation, or when conception occurs, or the best days to conceive, or what OPKs are... It totally takes out the guesswork knowing all that! lol Ahhh, to be clueless... Too bad that's not me!

Current Mood: contemplative

I'm going to enter a quick entry for now. Not really in the mood to go in depth. A friend got me started here. :) Thanks!!! Someties it's nice just talking to myself, instead of explaining to everyone what the hell I'm talking about. *I* know what I'm talking about. This month makes one year of TTC. So, to help me out, I got a kitten! It's kind of ironic, really. The SPCA wouldn't let her come home with me unless she was spade. So here I am TRYING to get pregnant, and this poor kitty will never know what it's like to be a mother. Sad, really. But, she's a sweetheart! 8wks old and Bella named her Tinkerbell. She's definitely my new baby. lol Yesterday she took a 2 hour nap with me. I didn't actually SLEEP that long, but she did. Having her around makes it a little easier to lose my focus on my "end goal" of getting pg. A couple friends of mine said now that I have a new kitten, I'm going to end up pg. lol So, of course, now I'm anxious to test! Figures... I haven't really been keeping track of my cycle this month. I recorded BD days so if I turn up pg, I have some idea of when we conceived. I also recorded my OPK's so I have a tentitive day of when I O'd. I didn't really have any O pains this cycle, either. Very strange for me! But, the OPK's said that I O'd. Yesterday, I caved in and checked to see how many DPO I was. I had no idea until then. I could've SWORN that I was around 11-12dpo, especially since the day before, I was so annoyed at everything and felt like I was really PMSing bad. Turned out, I was only 7dpo! Which means I still have a week before my period is due. I had such an urge to test yesterday. Thank God I didn't, because I would've just gotten a neg, and just been totally bummed the rest of the day. Mother's Day is quickly approaching. I don't even know what the date of Mother's Day is at all. lol How sad is that? A day that is supposed to me "mine", and I have no clue when it is. I might want to check that. It would be awesome if it fell on the day that I was due for my period and I found out I was pg!!! Ha... unless I end up getting my period, and then I won't be able to completely feel celebratory. I know I have Bella and all. But even SHE is lonely without a sibling. Why doesn't anyone think about that? Some people say, "That's not a reason to have another kid." What do they know? Is it so bad that I know my kid, and that my kid would be great with a sibling? It's not the ONLY reason why I want a second. I've never wanted to have an only child. I just want my family to feel complete, and right now, it doesn't. Yesterday I was thinking... We have 2 dogs, 2 cats (now), 2 fish... 2 kids would be awesome! :) I wouldn't mind having a 3rd, either. lol I'm getting ahead of myself, I know. At least with 2 kids, I'd be able to feel complete. A third would just be a bonus. Well, my short entry turned a bit longer than I had intended, so I'm done for now...

Current Mood: blah